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Stupid Blonde Jokes
A brunette goes to the doctor, and says, "Doctor I'm hurting all over my body."
"That's odd", replied the doctor, "Show me what you mean"
So the girl takes her finger and pokes her elbow, and screams in pain. She touches her knee and cries in agony and so on.
The doctor says, "You're not a natural brunette are you?"
"No I'm a blonde", she replies.
"I thought so.... your finger is broken.", replies the doctor.
A blind guy on a bar stool shouts to the bartender, "Wanna hear a blonde joke?"
In a hushed voice, the guy next to him says, "Before you tell that joke, you should know something. Our bartender IS blonde and the bouncer is blonde. I'm a 6' tall blonde, 200 lb black belt. The guy sitting next to me is a blonde, 6' 2, weighs 225 and he's a rugby player. The fella to your right is 6' 5" pushing 300 and he's a wrestler. Each one of US is blonde. Think about it, Mister. You still wanna tell that joke?"
The blind guy says, "Nah, not if I'm gonna have to explain it five times."
A blonde was walking down the street with her blouse wide open. The police goes over and tell her excuse me do you know your blouse is open. The blonde screams "OH MY GOD I LEFT MY BABY ON THE BUS."
There was three blondes stranded on a island far, far away. They saw a magic bottle floating on the water. They retrieved it and they went ahead and rubbed it, a genie came out and said " thank you very much lady's". the genie said, just for that I will grant you all one wish and one wish only, so all three blondes were happy.
The first blonde said I want to be rich and have a big mansion with a big swimming pool," poof", she was gone having a good time.
The second blonde said, I want to be a millionaire and own a plane with a cute husband to take care of me and travel the world, ' poof", she was of with her husband having a good time.
Then the third blonde was so sad. And the genie asked, "what is wrong?", the blonde said, you know what I wish, "I wish my friends were back here with me", and "poof", there they are, back together again.
An evil genie captured a brunette, a redhead, and a dumb blonde and banished them all to the desert for a week. The genie allowed them each to bring one thing.
The brunette brought a canteen so she wouldn't die of thirst.
The redhead brought an umbrella so she could keep the sun off.
The dumb blonde brought a car door, so if it got too hot out, she could just roll down the window!
A blonde bought two horses, and could never remember which horse was which.
A neighbor suggested that she cut the tail of one horse and that worked great until the other horse got his tail caught in a bush. It tore just right and looked exactly like the other horse's tail and our friend was stuck again.
The neighbor suggested she notch the ear
off one horse. That worked fine until the other horse caught his ear on a barbed wire fence. Once again our friend couldn't tell them apart.
The neighbor suggested she measure the horses for height. When she did, she was very pleased to find that the white horse was 2 inches taller than the black horse.
Oscar drove his brand new Mercedes to his favorite sporting goods store. He parked it outside and went in to do a little perusing with Jan, his regular sales woman.
Jan was a pretty blonde, and as Oscar walked into the store, she happily greeted him. But he requested to look around alone today before he needed her help. She obliged and let him do his thing.
Five minutes later, Jan came running up to him yelling, "Oscar! Oscar! I just saw someone driving off with your new Mercedes!"
"Dear God! Did you try to stop him?"
"No," she said, "I did better than that! I got the license plate number!"
Legend has it that there is a bar in New York where, in the ladies room there is a very special mirror. If one stands in front of the mirror and tells the truth, one wish is granted. However, if one tells a lie then with a “POOF” you are instantly swallowed up by the mirror, never to be seen again.
So, a redhead of questionable looks walks into the ladies room and stands before the mirror and says, "I think I'm the most beautiful woman in the world."
“POOF” The mirror swallows her.
Next a rather large brunette stands before the mirror and says, "I think I'm the sexiest woman alive."
“POOF” The mirror swallows her.
Then an absolutely gorgeous blonde comes in and stands before the mirror and says, "I think. . . ."
“POOF”
"That's odd", replied the doctor, "Show me what you mean"
So the girl takes her finger and pokes her elbow, and screams in pain. She touches her knee and cries in agony and so on.
The doctor says, "You're not a natural brunette are you?"
"No I'm a blonde", she replies.
"I thought so.... your finger is broken.", replies the doctor.
A blind guy on a bar stool shouts to the bartender, "Wanna hear a blonde joke?"
In a hushed voice, the guy next to him says, "Before you tell that joke, you should know something. Our bartender IS blonde and the bouncer is blonde. I'm a 6' tall blonde, 200 lb black belt. The guy sitting next to me is a blonde, 6' 2, weighs 225 and he's a rugby player. The fella to your right is 6' 5" pushing 300 and he's a wrestler. Each one of US is blonde. Think about it, Mister. You still wanna tell that joke?"
The blind guy says, "Nah, not if I'm gonna have to explain it five times."
A blonde was walking down the street with her blouse wide open. The police goes over and tell her excuse me do you know your blouse is open. The blonde screams "OH MY GOD I LEFT MY BABY ON THE BUS."
There was three blondes stranded on a island far, far away. They saw a magic bottle floating on the water. They retrieved it and they went ahead and rubbed it, a genie came out and said " thank you very much lady's". the genie said, just for that I will grant you all one wish and one wish only, so all three blondes were happy.
The first blonde said I want to be rich and have a big mansion with a big swimming pool," poof", she was gone having a good time.
The second blonde said, I want to be a millionaire and own a plane with a cute husband to take care of me and travel the world, ' poof", she was of with her husband having a good time.
Then the third blonde was so sad. And the genie asked, "what is wrong?", the blonde said, you know what I wish, "I wish my friends were back here with me", and "poof", there they are, back together again.
An evil genie captured a brunette, a redhead, and a dumb blonde and banished them all to the desert for a week. The genie allowed them each to bring one thing.
The brunette brought a canteen so she wouldn't die of thirst.
The redhead brought an umbrella so she could keep the sun off.
The dumb blonde brought a car door, so if it got too hot out, she could just roll down the window!
A blonde bought two horses, and could never remember which horse was which.
A neighbor suggested that she cut the tail of one horse and that worked great until the other horse got his tail caught in a bush. It tore just right and looked exactly like the other horse's tail and our friend was stuck again.
The neighbor suggested she notch the ear
off one horse. That worked fine until the other horse caught his ear on a barbed wire fence. Once again our friend couldn't tell them apart.
The neighbor suggested she measure the horses for height. When she did, she was very pleased to find that the white horse was 2 inches taller than the black horse.
Oscar drove his brand new Mercedes to his favorite sporting goods store. He parked it outside and went in to do a little perusing with Jan, his regular sales woman.
Jan was a pretty blonde, and as Oscar walked into the store, she happily greeted him. But he requested to look around alone today before he needed her help. She obliged and let him do his thing.
Five minutes later, Jan came running up to him yelling, "Oscar! Oscar! I just saw someone driving off with your new Mercedes!"
"Dear God! Did you try to stop him?"
"No," she said, "I did better than that! I got the license plate number!"
Legend has it that there is a bar in New York where, in the ladies room there is a very special mirror. If one stands in front of the mirror and tells the truth, one wish is granted. However, if one tells a lie then with a “POOF” you are instantly swallowed up by the mirror, never to be seen again.
So, a redhead of questionable looks walks into the ladies room and stands before the mirror and says, "I think I'm the most beautiful woman in the world."
“POOF” The mirror swallows her.
Next a rather large brunette stands before the mirror and says, "I think I'm the sexiest woman alive."
“POOF” The mirror swallows her.
Then an absolutely gorgeous blonde comes in and stands before the mirror and says, "I think. . . ."
“POOF”
MileySugars |
Latest page update: made by MileySugars
, Jun 7 2008, 12:53 PM EDT
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| Started By | Thread Subject | Replies | Last Post | ||
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| Arya484 | Haha | 0 | Jun 4 2009, 10:06 PM EDT by Arya484 | ||
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| sweetpie135 | hilary | 0 | Sep 26 2008, 10:23 AM EDT by sweetpie135 | ||
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Thread started: Sep 26 2008, 10:23 AM EDT
Watch
the are SO HILARYous
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| stephypop212 | Lol | 0 | Aug 4 2008, 4:13 AM EDT by stephypop212 | ||
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Thread started: Aug 4 2008, 4:13 AM EDT
Watch
Omg i Love Them There So Funny =]
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